Hello everyone.
Almost every other day, I get questions asking me how we can shortlist and find the right partner / spouse. So, for the benefit of all my readers, I thought of sharing my thoughts here. Before we proceed, let me tell you that my thoughts can be a bit radical in this aspect as I base my judgement on not just tradition but also on psychology and how the human mind works, aside from the fact that I have met thousands of such people over the last 13 years and seen how their lives unfolded in front of me.
So, let’s begin!
The first thing I tell anyone in this regard is to make a list. Yes, a list. The list is supposed to have around 10 things (you can make a bigger list if you wish) which you want in your partner / spouse (I followed the same idea for my marriage). Seeing this point, you may wonder why a list is required. The reason for making a list is to make you think exactly what you’re looking for. The items in the list should start with the most critical and going to the least important. Let’s consider a sample list a man in late 20s may have when thinking of his would be spouse:-
- Should be smart
- Should be pretty
- Should be well educated
- Should be independent and forward thinking / religious / traditional (as applicable)
- Should think similarly about money and finances as me
- Should be ok / not ok having kids (as applicable)
- Should not be too dominating
- Should have the same food habits as me
- Should be ready to support me in my decisions
- Should have a rich father (hehe)
Important Note – The above list is just for illustration purposes and just there to give you an idea of what the list can contain.
Now, what good will the list do in your search? Well, in my humble opinion, the human mind is extremely powerful. In fact, if you read Dr Murphy’s The Power of the Subconscious Mind, you will come to the realization why all the gurus and success experts talk about setting goals and making lists. In short, once you write down what you want, your subconscious mind gets to work in attracting all those things to you. Hence, the list is critical.
Please remember that although the list is critical, it has to be realistic. I have seen many people who kept on rejecting every prospect and ended up alone for the rest of their lives. Also, it may happen that you may need to compromise on some of the points in your list. That is why I mentioned above that the list should have the most important points on top to help you decide where you can compromise.
Now, coming to the area of Astrology. Here, I would like to take the opportunity to bust some myths which have been created by certain under-qualified / mis-guided individuals. I donot claim to be the biggest Astrological expert in the world, but I am just sharing what me and my forefathers before me have experienced through the ages.
Firstly, let’s talk about “Mangliks” or people who have a dominant Mars in their Horoscope. As per my understanding, you are a Manglik if you have Mars in any of 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th, 12th houses of your Horoscope. A Manglik is a person who exhibits the traits of Mars more clearly than others. Examples of traits include leadership, bravery, aggression (some times too much), success in police, military, real estate etc. In very rare cases, I have found people involved in serious crimes such as rape and murder to be Mangliks also.
Important Note – Being a Manglik does not make you a criminal. We also need to see other points in the Horoscope to deduce the person’s character accurately.
So, it is suggested that if you’re a Manglik, it is best to look for a partner who is also a Manglik. Considering that roughly 50% of the world is Manglik (including Me), it’s not that difficult to find a Manglik to be with. This ensures that your wavelength and that of your partner / spouse matches well and you can be happy together.
Now, is it possible that a person is partially Manglik? The answer is yes. In fact, I my younger brother is such an example. Similarly, if you consider me, I am a Manglik but in my case, my Manglik traits are greatly suppressed due to positions of other planets in my horoscope. If you’re partially Manglik, you can safely be with either a Manglik or Non Manglik.
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A common question I get is “I’m a Manglik. In case I marry a Non Manglik, will my spouse die within a few years of Marriage?”. The answer to that question is a resounding No. I personally feel that you die when your time comes. Not earlier and not later. In case of a few people, they unfortunately die within a few years of marriage and having no one else to blame, their family blames the spouse (which is wrong). But yes, there is a high chance of marital problems in case the Manglik / Non Manglik angle is not considered at time of marriage.
Important Note – By performing certain rituals, it is possible to greatly reduce the impact of the Manglik / Non Manglik issue but these need to be done before the marriage ceremony happens. You can contact me for details on how this can be performed. I can also perform these for you if you wish.
Now, coming to the next major point – Gana (form). As per Indian Astrology, it is believed that any person has one of 3 forms – Dev (divine), Manushya (Human) and Rakshas (Demon). Gana does not mean that you’re an Angel or Demon. Rather, it means how calm / cruel you can be. To take my example, I belong to Manushya Gana whereas my wife belongs to Rakshas Gana. We need to remember that everyone belongs to one of these groups. Let’s take a moment to understand the difference between the 3:-
A) Dev:- A person who is very patient, polite, calm and understand. Such people can also be very submissive in certain cases
B) Manushya:- A balance between too calm and too firey
C) Rakshas:- A person who has a lot of impatience and can be quite cruel in going after what they want
Important Note – Simply belonging to Dev Gana does not make you a saintly figure or demon in case of Rakshas Gana. The specifics can be judged only after a thorough analysis of the person’s Horoscope.
Next, let’s talk about another major area where people sometimes falter – The Matching Score.
In Indian Astrology, we have a notion of a Matching Score, where we can see various traits and arrive at a Score to give an indication of compatibility between 2 people. The score is a number out of 36 with 0 being the lowest and 36 being the highest. Now, it’s not necessary that if you have a score of 30+ out of 36, you are going to have a life of love, happiness and togetherness with the prospective partner / spouse.
To give an example of myself, when I was searching for a bride for myself, I met many women who had a matching score of as high as 35 / 36 with me but things did not work out between us. On the other hand, the matching score of me and my wife is 23 / 36, but we are happy together. Similarly, in case of my parents, their matching score was 18/36 (the bare minimum). So, I suggest taking the matching score with a pinch of salt.
In short, I suggest not relying simply on the above factors to accept / reject someone. Overall, I feel that it’s also very important to have a sense of commitment and sincerety towards the relationship. Lastly, it is best to consult a learned Astrologer and take an informed decision.
If you have a proposal and doubt whether to go ahead or not, you can get in touch with me for a consultation.
Thank you for taking out the time to read the post. Please share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.