Posted on

Choosing the right partner / spouse

Hello everyone.

Almost every other day, I get questions asking me how we can shortlist and find the right partner / spouse. So, for the benefit of all my readers, I thought of sharing my thoughts here. Before we proceed, let me tell you that my thoughts can be a bit radical in this aspect as I base my judgement on not just tradition but also on psychology and how the human mind works, aside from the fact that I have met thousands of such people over the last 13 years and seen how their lives unfolded in front of me.

So, let’s begin!

The first thing I tell anyone in this regard is to make a list. Yes, a list. The list is supposed to have around 10 things (you can make a bigger list if you wish) which you want in your partner / spouse (I followed the same idea for my marriage). Seeing this point, you may wonder why a list is required. The reason for making a list is to make you think exactly what you’re looking for. The items in the list should start with the most critical and going to the least important. Let’s consider a sample list a man in late 20s may have when thinking of his would be spouse:-

  1. Should be smart
  2. Should be pretty
  3. Should be well educated
  4. Should be independent and forward thinking / religious / traditional (as applicable)
  5. Should think similarly about money and finances as me
  6. Should be ok / not ok having kids (as applicable)
  7. Should not be too dominating
  8. Should have the same food habits as me
  9. Should be ready to support me in my decisions
  10. Should have  a rich father (hehe)

Important Note – The above list is just for illustration purposes and just there to give you an idea of what the list can contain.

Now, what good will the list do in your search? Well, in my humble opinion, the human mind is extremely powerful. In fact, if you read books on the power of the subconscious mind, you will come to the realization why all the gurus and success experts talk about setting goals and making lists. In short, once you write down what you want, your subconscious mind gets to work in attracting all those things to you. Hence, the list is critical.

Please remember that although the list is critical, it has to be realistic. I have seen many people who kept on rejecting every prospect and ended up alone for the rest of their lives. Also, it may happen that you may need to compromise on some of the points in your list. That is why I mentioned above that the list should have the most important points on top to help you decide where you can compromise.

Now, coming to the area of Astrology. Here, I would like to take the opportunity to bust some myths which have been created by certain under-qualified / mis-guided individuals. I donot claim to be the biggest Astrological expert in the world, but I am just sharing what me and my forefathers before me have experienced through the ages.

Firstly, let’s talk about “Mangliks” or people who have a dominant Mars in their Horoscope. As per my understanding, you are a Manglik if you have Mars in any of 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th, 12th houses of your Horoscope. A Manglik is a person who exhibits the traits of Mars more clearly than others. Examples of traits include leadership, bravery, aggression (some times too much), success in police, military, real estate etc. In very rare cases, I have found people involved in serious crimes such as rape and murder to be Mangliks also.

Important Note – Being a Manglik does not make you a criminal. We also need to see other points in the Horoscope to deduce the person’s character accurately.

So, it is suggested that if you’re a Manglik, it is best to look for a partner who is also a Manglik. Considering that roughly 50% of the world is Manglik (including Me), it’s not that difficult to find a Manglik to be with. This ensures that your wavelength and that of your partner / spouse matches well and you can be happy together.

Now, is it possible that a person is partially Manglik? The answer is yes. In fact, I my younger brother is such an example. Similarly, if you consider me, I am a Manglik but in my case, my Manglik traits are greatly suppressed due to positions of other planets in my horoscope. If you’re partially Manglik, you can safely be with either a Manglik or Non Manglik.

A common question I get is “I’m a Manglik. In case I marry a Non Manglik, will my spouse die within a few years of Marriage?”. The answer to that question is a resounding No. I personally feel that you die when your time comes. Not earlier and not later. In case of a few people, they unfortunately die within a few years of marriage and having no one else to blame, their family blames the spouse (which is wrong). But yes, there is a high chance of marital problems in case the Manglik / Non Manglik angle is not considered at time of marriage.

Important Note – By performing certain rituals, it is possible to greatly reduce the impact of the Manglik / Non Manglik issue but these need to be done before the marriage ceremony happens. You can contact me for details on how this can be performed. I can also perform these for you if you wish.

Now, coming to the next major point – Gana (form). As per Indian Astrology, it is believed that any person has one of 3 forms – Dev (divine), Manushya (Human) and Rakshas (Demon). Gana does not mean that you’re an Angel or Demon. Rather, it means how calm / cruel you can be. To take my example, I belong to Manushya Gana whereas my wife belongs to Rakshas Gana. We need to remember that everyone belongs to one of these groups. Let’s take a moment to understand the difference between the 3:-

A) Dev:- A person who is very patient, polite, calm and understand. Such people can also be very submissive in certain cases

B) Manushya:- A balance between too calm and too firey

C) Rakshas:- A person who has a lot of impatience and can be quite cruel in going after what they want

Important Note – Simply belonging to Dev Gana does not make you a saintly figure or demon in case of Rakshas Gana. The specifics can be judged only after a thorough analysis of the person’s Horoscope.

Next, let’s talk about another major area where people sometimes falter – The Matching Score.

In Indian Astrology, we have a notion of a Matching Score, where we can see various traits and arrive at a Score to give an indication of compatibility between 2 people. The score is a number out of 36 with 0 being the lowest and 36 being the highest. Now, it’s not necessary that if you have a score of 30+ out of 36, you are going to have a life of love, happiness and togetherness with the prospective partner / spouse.

To give an example of myself, when I was searching for a bride for myself, I met many women who had a matching score of as high as 35 / 36 with me but things did not work out between us. On the other hand, the matching score of me and my wife is 23 / 36, but we are happy together. Similarly, in case of my parents, their matching score was 18/36 (the bare minimum). So, I suggest taking the matching score with a pinch of salt.

In short, I suggest not relying simply on the above factors to accept / reject someone. Overall, I feel that it’s also very important to have a sense of commitment and sincerety towards the relationship. Lastly, it is best to consult a learned Astrologer and take an informed decision.

If you have a proposal and doubt whether to go ahead or not, you can get in touch with me for a consultation.

Thank you for taking out the time to read the post. Please share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.

Posted on

My weight loss experience

Unlike my other previous posts, I decided to share something very candid with all of you, that is, if you would like to hear. In this post, I want to share some very simple yet less-known facts and at the same time, I wish to share how my realization of these facts and the scientific principles behind them that led to my return to shape.

So, here goes…

It all started in 2013. My job required a lot of travel and due to my tight schedule and many sleepless nights, I lost control of my diet and almost completely stopped exercise. The result – my weight crossed 110 kilos and my waist was not able to fit any trousers available in the market (yes sad but true).

Lose Weight With Total Trim Eleven

So, finally I decided to make a few changes in my life when I realized that this cannot go on for long. I was at risk of Heart Disease, Diabetes, or worse. I was more concerned as these diseases run in my family. Both my parents have Heart Disease and my father has had diabetes for more than 25 years!

As I have been at the forefront of technology and academics since the beginning, I decided to do some research on how I can solve my problem of excess weight and come down to a more manageable weight. So, here’s what I learnt:-

  1. Most weight loss efforts only give temporary benefits – The weight is back as soon as you feel you don’t need to continue anymore. This is mainly because most people resort to extreme exercises, crash dieting, drugs or even surgery for their weight loss. All of these tend to work in the beginning, but continuing them forever is not possible.
  2. Weight loss (and by extension, weight gain) has a lot to do with your lifestyle. For example, as I was in a high pressure job with tight schedules, I used to sleep less, eat a lot of fast food and had a lot of stress too! All these things led to various hormonal imbalances that not only accelerated my obesity but also hampered any of my weight loss efforts!
  3. I was willing to do whatever it took to reduce my weight by at least 20 kilos and reach a more healthy state of body and mind. I checked out a lot of books, visited doctors, gyms, health clubs and even began to think of surgery. And that’s when I realized…
  4. I was not alone!!

As good as the last point may sound, I was sad to realize that there is an entire parallel economy feeding of the depression that people like me go through. We have health companies, doctors, fitness instructors, gyms, celebrities (brand ambassadors) etc who make a healthy profit seeing how desperate obese people can be to find a solution to their problems.

Luckily, I had an advantage that others overlooked – the Internet!!

I researched online, purchased books and read a lot of medical magazines and journals. I came to some startling conclusions:-

  1. Accelerated weight gain could be caused by liver disorders. In the human body, the liver produces various hormones that regulate different life functions, hence the name – Liver. A healthy liver produces hormones in required quantities and the body will therefore, maintain a healthy weight.
  2. Another possible cause of unexpected weight gain is thyroid disorders. The thyroid gland produces hormones which regulate the body composition and growth. Abnormal thyroid functioning can also lead to accelerated weight gain.
  3. Less sleep and irregular meals are a major cause of unexpected weight gain too. Less sleep results in the Liver producing Cortisol (also known as Stress hormone) in excess quantities. This can result in excess weight gain. Cortisol production can also increase due to reasons such as high stress or irregular food habits.
  4. An unhealthy colon can also lead to excess weight. The colon is an area of the large intestine where the body stores it’s waste. With a healthy digestive system, this waste is regularly flushed out. But, if the colon is not cleared properly, it can lead to excess weight accumulation. In the long term, this can also cause dangerous issues like Colon Cancer!!
  5. Consuming excess calories is the last and most well-known reason.

So, after I knew some possible reasons, here’s what I did:-

  1. I wanted to ensure that my liver is functioning properly. Towards this end, I decided to eat healthy and improve my liver functioning. So, I went online and read some articles on this.

    In summary, I saw the following points to indicate a healthy liver:-

    1. Sound digestion
    2. Healthy weight
    3. Less skin problems
    4. Strong immune system
    5. Less fatigue
    6. Good concentration
    7. Good sleep
    8. Healthy appetite
    9. No (or minimum) acidity. I realized that from the above, I lacked in most areas, confirming that I did have some liver issues. So, I decided to improve my liver health.
  2. I got my self checked for thyroid disorders and thankfully, I had none. As I’m not a medical expert I won’t talk much on areas (such as Thyroid) where my knowledge is not so good. However, the following books are quite good at explaining about possible Thyroid problems and how to address them:-
    1. The PCOD Thyroid Book by Rujuta Diwekar :-
      Buy here
    2. Know and Solve Thyroid Problems by Dr Shiv Dua :-
      Buy here
    3. Thyroid Weight Gain No More by Jasmine Franks:-
      Buy here

    I took out some time to read these books mentioned above and found them to be quite insightful. It’s possible that your problems are not the same as mine and that is why I chose to not talk much in detail about Thyroid issues and simply give some references that you can check out yourself.

  3. Due to my hectic schedule and high stress levels, I spent a lot of nights with less or minimal sleep. Towards this, I decided to work on myself. Here’s what I tried:-
    1. I resumed my yoga practice. I watched Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev’s tv show many years ago and that’s how I learnt how to do various yoga exercises. Every morning I spend around 10 minutes doing Yoga. If something’s free, it’s not necessarily bad. I also watched a few DVD based fitness programs, which I practice even today. Some of there are:-
      1. Yoga Meltdown DVD by Jillian Michaels:-
        Buy here
        Jillian is a world famous fitness trainer trusted by even the biggest Hollywood stars and has a proven track record of giving effective and easy to follow exercise tips. Jillian combines traditional yoga with aerobics and circuit training to give a big push to weight loss and body sculpting effects of Yoga. Definitely worth the money!!.
      2. Yoga Body Burn DVD by Denise Austin:-
        Buy here
        Denise is another famous fitness trainer Hollywood trusts. I liked her exercise routine as well. Another great option for those looking to learn some great yoga routines for fitness.

      Of course, you’re set if you try any one of the 2 options above.

    2. I also do weight training. If interested,  you can buy a pair of dumbbells of a weight suitable to your age and body and then begin some weight training. However, please be very careful when attempting weight training as if not done properly, weight training can lead to injuries. I will do a post later talking about weight training in detail and also give examples of what exercises I do.
    3. I also started with Pilates. Pilates is a category of body-weight exercises that is known to give good results for various objectives like weight loss, body sculpting and muscle development. If interested, you can check out This DVD by Denise Austin that demonstrates some great Pilates exercises in a easy to follow format.
  4. Now, as I started with these workout routines, I noticed one thing – the exercises on their own would not be able to do 100% of the job. I needed to do something about my diet and food intake as well. For this, I went out and bought Rujuta Diwekar’s book Don’t Lose your Mind, Lose your Weight. Rujuta is a household name in Bollywood. She is a well known dietician and an expert on Indian food and diets. I got a lot of useful insights on what diet mistakes I was making and learnt about which changes I need to make to improve my situation. You can buy the book here. It’s also available on kindle.

    To avoid any copyright violations, I am not able to reproduce any content from the book but yes, I will mention a couple of points:-

    1. Portion Control
    2. Recipes for various food allergies
    3. Recipes for various ailments and health conditions
    4. Fitness tips
    5. Some fitness beliefs which people have and whether or not they are valid

      Another good book I can recommend is Eat or Delete by Pooja Makhija. Pooja is also a very well respected diet expert who has been featured on many tv shows on Indian Television and is known to give expert diet related advice. You can get the book here.

  5. Now, I started seeing some results. My chronic acidity and hunger pangs reduced. My skin improved. Sounds good right? Yes definitely felt good for me too. Now, I wanted to capitalize on this and take it up a notch. Obviously as my stress and sleep situation was in directly relation to my job, I could not directly solve my problem of high fat retention in my body and needed help in this department. Here, my research led to a less-known fruit called Garcina Camborgia (known as “Kokam” in India).

    According to research that I came across, Garcina Camborgia consumption is known to regulate secretion of Insulin and Cortisol in the body. Cortisol and Insulin are opposites. If there is an excess of Cortisol in the body, the amount of Insulin being produced goes down, leading to a higher risk of Diabetes. Conversely, when a healthy amount of Insulin is produced by the body, its a good sign for those with risk of Diabetes.

    I went to Amazon and noticed that there were a lot of tablets based on Garcina were available there. So, I did some more research and selected Wow Garcina. Wow Garcina tablets contain a good amount of HCA and Chromium (deficiency of Chromium leads to sugar cravings and can cause unhealthy sugar consumption). However, please note that a single month of consumption is not enough for visible results as it takes a couple of months for the body’s hormones to come to proper levels. I bought a 6 month supply here.For those not looking to spend Rs 4,300/- for a 6 month dose, there are a couple of cheaper substitutes available. Perennial Lifesciences produces Garcina Camborgia Extract Tablets at about 1/3 of the price of Wow Garcina but their tablets do not contain Chromium. My mother personally tried a 4 month dose of these tablets and got good results (She lost around 5 kilos in 4 months without any changes to her diet and with 0 Exercise).

FatLicious, A Better Way of Doing Keto

Last but not least, I did a bit of reading and this book really helped me in the process.

All in all, a balance of these different things helped bring my hormones in order, reduced my acidity and helped me lose a good amount of weight (I got to my target of 80 Kilos in around 6 months) and gained a whole world of confidence. Thanks for hearing me out and hearing my story.

Posted on

Viren D Chakraborty’s Blog

Welcome to my Site. I use this as a forum to express my views and share my knowledge on various topics of interest to me. Every now and then, I also like to share my experiences as well as those of my near and dear ones.

And of course, I value your comments and opinions, even if different from mine as we are all special in our own special way!